You know, during the first and only debate, President Trump talked about migrants taking cats and eating them. You know, if you're keeping track at home, this is the second time grabbing a kitty has been part of a campaign issue. [00:00:24] You know. - We talked about leaving that out. - I was going to leave that out. I'm glad he left it in. Anyway, that was Jim Gaffigan, who I'm a big fan of at the Al Smith dinner. [00:00:40] This is an annual Catholic charity event that, when there's a presidential election coming up, is like a big stopping point. It's one of the last big events like it before the election, and generally both of the candidates are there. In this case, that was not the case. Only Donald Trump was there. [00:00:56] And I know that because while that clip was playing, many of you were probably watching Jim Gaffigan. I was watching Donald Trump and Melania Trump for their reaction to that. And I will give Donald Trump a little bit of credit. He smiled. He didn't do what he did at the white House Correspondents Dinner with Obama, [00:01:13] where he was like, all frowny and mad. He was smiling a lot. Melania wasn't at all I noticed, but Donald Trump was playing ball and we're going to have a little bit more of that, actually. Now, to be fair, Jim Gaffigan also did do some roasting of Democrats. [00:01:29] He said President Biden couldn't be here tonight. The DNC made sure of that, which is a good line. And also like, they should have been more clear much more early about Joe Biden. But we want to balance the scales here. And so let's get to Donald Trump, where he actually engaged [00:01:47] in a bit of rare self-deprecating humor. These days, it's, really a pleasure anywhere in New York without a subpoena for my appearance. Anytime I don't get a subpoena, I'm very happy they've gone after me. [00:02:07] Mr. Mayor, your peanuts compared to what they've done to me. But I know this isn't my normal crowd tonight. Because it just isn't. It's not my normal crowd. Believe me. My normal crowd is younger, has a lot more energy. [00:02:26] But you have certain advantages, too. Like cash. Lots of cash. - Fine, I guess. - Not a joke. The New York one was kind of funny. I mean, like, you know, it immediately made me remember that we were denied justice on virtually all of those cases because of corrupt judges. [00:02:44] So there was, you know, the joke was funny. The aftermath was a little bit sad. But Donald Trump almost never does any self-deprecating humor. So I guess that's good, you know? And so consider that as you consider the likelihood that he would take America down a really dark path if the dark day came where he became president once again. [00:03:01] But Francesca, you are a stand up comedian. What do you think so far? Yeah. The first the subpoena joke was good. Got a laugh. The rest of it weren't jokes. I'm pretty sure that's not scripted like this. [00:03:17] Peanuts. What they did to you, Eric Adams. Anyway, let's go to Insta bowl together. Like, that's not really a joke. And then the last one where he was just like, what did he say? I'm blanking because I don't care. But the point is, no, they weren't they weren't actually jokes. [00:03:35] He's just calling it like it is. You guys have more money. I mean, again, if it were this is a Catholic crowd. If it were a Jewish crowd, which he has done, he's like, you guys have a lot of money. You're good with money, aren't you? A wink wink? He's just being honest. He's like, I don't really like my audience because I've been trying to milk them [00:03:50] for every piece of merch I can hawk, and a lot of them are tapped out, so they they sunk too much into Truth Social. But, Yeah, I guess it's progress. John. He hasn't appeared at the white House Press Correspondents Dinner when he was president. So, We'll see. [00:04:07] And yet, supposedly, he's always joking. Mass deportations. He's just joking. Totally. Really fast. By the way, that would have been a good joke if he had then, like, pulled out, like, full gold rosaries and been like. And by the way, for $100,000. Yes. See, that would have been good. [00:04:22] - What do you think? - So I'm with Francesca. It wasn't that great. I think some of the other stuff we'll get into, maybe I have a different stance, but he's doing kind of just observational comedy, but without the comedy for the second part, it's like just talking about what he sees in front of him. [00:04:38] You're old, you're rich. He liked that. I mean, there was no punchline on that. I think the subpoena line was good. It was surprising to see him joke about it. But I think the point of all of this is it's it's a roast. And I think Gaffigan's joke was great. And I was also with you, Jon, watching Trump and Melania and what you'll [00:04:56] see in some of the other clips. If you go and watch some of the other Gaffigan burns on Trump, he's sitting there grinning, and Melania looks kind of dour. But I don't think Trump is enjoying the jokes so much as he just likes hearing somebody talk about him every time. [00:05:12] Like, if you watch the clips as Gaffigan is setting it up. Oh, it's coming back to Trump. And he mentions Trump. He like, lights up. He like shifts in his posture. Go, go watch some of those clips. You'll see it. He just likes that Gaffigan is talking about him. Yeah. Well, yeah. And John, you're right about the biggest joke is on the American people because, [00:05:30] yes, none of the cases have been resolved. None of them not even falsifying business records. None of it. The Juan Merchan all that. None of it's been resolved. Everyone wants to wait because they don't want to put their thumb on the scale should he become president. Yeah. Somehow we're here, people. Somehow we're here 100%. [00:05:48] Well, he is going to speak some more. We'll have some more of him. Harris was not there, but she did send in a video. Here is a bit of that. The Al Smith dinner provides a rare opportunity to set aside partizanship. [00:06:03] Cool. Sorry. Sorry. Hey, what's going on? Who was that? - Oh, sorry. - Mary Katherine Gallagher. Mary Katherine Gallagher. - It's so nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you, Mary Katherine. Right now, I'm trying to record my speech for tonight's dinner. - Oh, yeah, I know. - I just want to say that I'm a Catholic. And tonight is one of the biggest dinners next to the Last Supper. [00:06:20] It is a very important dinner, and it's an important tradition that I'm so proud to be a part of. Sometimes when I get nervous, I stick my fingers under my arms and I smell them like that. - But that's gross. - So tell me something. I'm giving a speech. Do you have some thoughts about what I might say tonight? [00:06:37] My feelings about what you should say tonight would be best expressed in a monologue from one of my favorite made for TV series. Okay, let's hear it. Don't you see, man? We need a woman to represent us. A woman brings more heart, more compassion and think how smart she must be [00:06:54] to become a top contender in a field dominated by men. It's time for a woman, bro. So obviously it was a prerecorded skit that they sent in. I thought Harris's acting was was perfectly fine. I like Molly Shannon. I'm not a big fan of that particular character overall. [00:07:12] Look, there is more to it. I think it was maybe a missed opportunity. Like, I know you have to send in something if you're not going to be there. She was off campaigning. And as we're going to get into in just one second, Trump was making as big of a deal out of that as he possibly could. But for me, it just wasn't quite as good as lines delivered in the hall. [00:07:29] But that said, before we comment, let's get to Donald Trump, pointing out how utterly disrespectful it is that she's not there. My opponent feels like she does not have to be here, which is deeply disrespectful to the event and in particular to our great Catholic community. [00:07:47] Very disrespectful. I understand the real reason that she's not here is she's hunting with her running mate, spending a lot of time hunting. In any event, it's a weird, weird, weird weird. [00:08:05] You know the word weird. They call me weird. They call JD weird. We're very solid people. This guy is calling us weird. But this was weird that the Democrat candidate is not here. And with us tonight. Catholics, you got to vote for me. [00:08:21] Just remember, you better remember I'm here and she's not. I could have done that, too. But you do something that's incredible. That Catholic church. You're helping the poor, educating children and supporting the vulnerable. But if you really wanted Vice President Harris to accept your invitation, [00:08:39] I guess you should have told her the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters in Minneapolis, and she would have been here guaranteed. She would have been here, but I don't think Kamala has given up yet. She hasn't. Instead of attending tonight, she's in Michigan receiving communion [00:08:58] from Gretchen Whitmer. That's not a pretty sight. Yeah. So that was something. I guess it got a little bit weird in the middle. [00:09:14] I think he should probably just read the lines that people gave him. Not all of them necessarily. One of them, I think, was just written by Stephen Miller. But anyway, he. Look, he wants to get some sort of advantage out of the fact that he's there and she's not. And so he's pointing out that it's weird that she's not there. [00:09:30] Bear in mind, he has canceled virtually every interview he's had over the last few days. But anyway, it's just that he can't do it in a subtle way or in a funny way. He is being utterly explicit to them. I'm here, so you'll vote for me. She's not. Don't vote for her. Oh, God. Can I get out of here? [00:09:46] Someone play Ave Maria like he's just being so obvious about the whole thing. So anyway, Jordan thoughts? I mean, I don't have as negative of a view of this as you do, apparently, just by watching your reaction to these clips. I thought it was fine, and I think it was a misstep for her not to go, like people [00:10:05] are going to see, like people aren't going to buy, oh, I'm out campaigning. Well, yes, Trump is backing out of everything, but you're running for president. You've got all the resources at your disposal. You could make it if you wanted to. I think it's probably because they were worried she would come off clunky or be a weird dynamic. But it is. It's fun. [00:10:21] It's one of those things. I'm not saying it's inherently important, but it's one of those things just that you do like going to the Iowa steak fry or going to like different, you know, festivals or fairs around the country. During the primaries, you go eat your meat on a stick. It's just something that you do. It's weird. [00:10:37] It's one of those weird traditions in American politics and in presidential elections. Go. The video I'm with you. I'm not a huge fan of the character, although I do like Molly Shannon? Wasn't that good? It wasn't that good. It was just. It was good. [00:10:52] And then. But no, she told no jokes. She told no jokes. It's a roast. She did zero roasting. And then she went with the. I'm gonna rise above it. We need to heal the country. - It's a roast. - There's more to the video, but. But there wasn't anything in there. Yeah, I agree, I love Molly Shannon. I've never really liked the character. [00:11:08] I don't see why it needed to be rolled out here. But you want to defend. You're the comedian. You're the expert. - What do you think? - Yeah. No. That is Molly Shannon's best character. I love Mary Katherine Gallagher. You just don't get her because she's weird. The only problem with that is that she's, like, 20 years too late. [00:11:24] You know, she's quite an older character, but it is funny. And especially it's a little bit of clowning on the church because Mary Katherine Gallagher this like, you know, clearly, you know, like out of pocket Aspergers, like grown woman with like way too short of a skirt does not make the Catholic Church look good. [00:11:41] Like it's a little bit of a roast to the Catholic Church too. And I just want to push back. I don't agree with Jordan. I think that it would look incredibly bizarre to be joshing around with Donald Trump and, you know, taking shots at him. And ha ha in this sort of like in under the auspices of we're all just elitists [00:12:02] raising money here in New York, a state that I'm definitely going to win. I mean, likely like it just it doesn't make sense. It's not a smart move. It'll make it look to like just two elites just palling around. However, it would have gotten under his skin had she actually thrown [00:12:18] some real jokes in there. Just like I'm assuming he bleated about her. She was able to roast him on the campaign trail when she was heckled by some Trump voters and was like, oh, you're at the wrong rally. You want the smaller one down the street? No, he didn't even have to be there. I think the whole thing was funny. [00:12:37] I liked the angle of Mary Catherine. Yeah, maybe if they could have sent like, Obama. You know, nobody is better at roasting Donald Trump than Obama. I think that could have been good. But yeah. I want to move on to I just want to briefly mention, maybe we feel differently about Trump's delivery. [00:12:52] Like, I just think the weird thing about they call him. They call me weird. They call JD Vance. No. We're solid. No, you guys are freaking weird. Especially JD Vance. Like, you're super, super weird. But anyway, he had some other jokes. He said, we have someone in the white House who can barely talk, barely put [00:13:08] together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child. It's a person that has nothing going on, no intelligence whatsoever. But enough about Kamala Harris. Oh, get it? Because like you think he's talking about Joe Biden, who's a much older man. [00:13:23] But no, he's asserting that the very intelligent woman of color is low IQ. You know how he calls all black women low IQ? - Ha ha ha ha ha. - It's funny. That's called a misdirection. I just don't think you get the misdirection. [00:13:40] But the misdirection still. Still make logical sense because the only reason he told this joke here is because he keeps look, he wanted to run against Joe Biden. He wanted to run against somebody he could say is losing their mind is low energy, and he doesn't have that. She's going she's doing more events than him. [00:13:55] She's far more intelligent than him, but he just conjures up a world that he prefers in which, yeah, no, everybody agrees she's stupid. No, that's just it doesn't make any sense. But anyway, I. Mean, the cat's out of the bag this week. Just really quickly. The cat's out of the bag this week on who, like, who has, like, [00:14:12] bigger cojones or ovaries, if you will. Kamala Harris was on Fox News and she did a great job, you know what I mean? Like, she went right into the lion's den. He can't even do a 60 minutes interview because he's afraid of reality. Like, like 60 minutes. All the big old left wing, 60 minutes. [00:14:30] No, man. He's like, he wants to do bro podcasts. So I mean, she's already she's proven herself this week above and beyond 100% like. And she did well enough that he ran to Rupert Murdoch to tell him to not let her on anymore. But anyway, there was one other joke. So Trump said, he's referring to an extramarital affair that Harris's [00:14:50] husband had had during his first marriage. Said the only piece of advice I would have for her in the event that she wins is not to let her husband, Doug, anywhere near the nannies. After many in the room groaned, he added, that's a nasty one. I told these idiots that gave me this stuff. That's too tough. I love how he just constantly insults the people who work for him. [00:15:07] Like constantly teleprompter operators, lighting, whatever. Look, that's I guess kind of funny. Again, he's been accused of assaulting so many people that have come into Mar-A-Lago. He's had many affairs. [00:15:22] He's lost court cases to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars over the course of his affairs and assaults. So I'm not saying that it's not on some level funny, I guess, but you're kind of the worst possible person to make this joke. - Any final thoughts? - Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm not as upset about some of them. [00:15:40] - It's I'm. - Not upset. - I'm just. - Critiquing. - I just not. - Funny. I mean, I think I think some of them are. I think if you want to. The subpoenas one, I will give you that the subpoenas one was solid. That's it. I think there were many more that weren't included that were like decent. Obviously he didn't write them and he was reading jokes prepared for him. [00:15:58] And if you want to go in there with like an open mind, it's a roast. I mean, Gaffigan didn't really pull any punches. I think his whole bit was great. Like, his whole segment was great. Trump did some good, some bad. I just wish Harris would have. Just like the campaign would have lightened up like every presidential candidate does it. [00:16:15] All of them do it for her not to go and then to put out the video would be like, we need to restore, you know, they do this work. We're restoring the soul of the country type stuff. It's like, that's not fun. This is a moment of levity and I don't think people would see it. It is like an elitist thing. I don't think that would really sway people's minds. [00:16:32] Either way. There are plenty of other things that portray them as elitists and out of touch that aren't this event. They all do it. Biden did it. Obama did it. Clinton did it. It's just it's just everyone needs to just it's one of those things that the Correspondents Dinner, it just happens. You go, it's a roast. [00:16:48] It's fun. It's for some philanthropic effort that's ultimately meaningless. Yeah. I would have preferred that. She went. I definitely think that. I mean, I didn't like the video as much as Francesca, so I would have preferred that. But I would say, you know, like of the norms, like Trump is like pointing out, like everybody goes, why won't she go? [00:17:04] Like he all of a sudden respects norms, release her medical records, you doddering old idiot. Like that's a norm. Maybe put your your your stuff in a blind trust. Maybe. Maybe do that. Maybe stop committing crimes in plain sight constantly. There are some other norms that maybe we should respect. [00:17:20] But anyway, I will also say I thought the Eric Adams thing, it wasn't really a joke, but I did like that. He just like, basically pointed at Eric Adams and reminded everyone that he's under, like serious investigation. That's funny in a meta way. I'll give him credit for that. [00:17:36] It wasn't. They didn't have a punchline, but Eric Adams probably wished he wasn't there.