What are the existential threats that humanity faces? We spent a lot of time talking about the birth rate thing, that that might be the biggest single threat to the future of human civilization. People just don't understand. Like nothing will make you happier than having kids. [00:00:17] It will absolutely improve your happiness level to have kids. I agree with him there. I think that having kids can make you very happy. I have loved becoming a father. I think for a lot of people though, having the money to be able to have kids would be nice. [00:00:34] I feel like you're missing something there. Elon Musk, but he's jumping way past the the whole financing thing and he's not happy to just have kids. He wants to have apparently a legion of kids. His words. A new report by the Wall Street Journal has revealed how he is basically [00:00:49] mass DMing influencers on Twitter with offers to knock them up. And we're finding out about this thanks to, Ashley Saint Clare, one of the apparent mothers of one of his children. Well, at least according to a court. Not according to him actually acknowledging the kid after all [00:01:06] that he's done and said in regards to her would be the honorable thing to do. So clearly he's gone in the opposite direction anyway. She's a conservative influencer, and you've probably seen that she's been feuding with Musk lately over the child that they have together. Just bear in mind, they had a court ordered paternity test that showed he [00:01:22] had a 99.9999% chance of being the father, or a 0.00001% chance of not. So you're telling me there's a chance? Anyway, he apparently wants to have way more kids than the 14 or so that he publicly acknowledges. [00:01:38] He refers to them as a legion, a reference to the ancient military units that could contain thousands of soldiers and were key to extending the reach of the Roman Empire. We'd learned sometime last year that the average man thinks about Rome five times a day, not generally in reference to the desire to reconstitute [00:01:55] the empire with their own sperm. But that's the Musk thing, I guess. Anyway, during Saint Clare's pregnancy, he suggested to her that they bring in other women to have even more of their children faster, to, quote, reach Legion level before the apocalypse. [00:02:10] We will need to use surrogates. Now, bear in mind he has a big compound in Austin, Texas that he has some of his kids and their moms at. He wants to get all of them together where they'll definitely be comfortable. Anyway, he tried to get her there to spend time with the Kid Legion. [00:02:28] I just want you to bear in mind the other kids aren't hers and they're not married. She's not their stepmom or anything. She's just one of the women he propositioned online. This is not as romantic as he's apparently convinced himself that it is. [00:02:45] And so there's more. It's going to get weirder in a lot of different ways. He has a handler, Brett, this guy who helps to contact them with the offer to impregnate them and like, sets up the like financial trap that provides for the kids, [00:03:00] while also stopping them from revealing what they've been subjected to. The whole thing is weird. What do you think? The last thing I like watching Ellen on stage. The last thing I want to think about is him having sex. Oh. Oh. I think it's exactly like the jump, but horizontal. [00:03:18] Oh, like I've seen the the, like the literal underbelly of the beast. It's horrifying. What about the underbelly of the beast with two backs? Oh, look at you. Look at your Othello reference. Shakespeare. - There you. - Go. Did you. Just volunteer to have a kid with Elon Musk? [00:03:34] I volunteer as tribute. - It might take a few. - Tries, but. Like Elon, they're not there because they want to help you build a legion. They're not there because they love you. They're not there because they like you. How could they? They're there for the money. [00:03:50] Lebowski, I will volunteer. I don't know how. Yeah, but I hope if anyone can do it, it's science genius Elon Musk. I volunteer to have you use me as your surrogate. I don't care, I will poop your baby out for $10 million. [00:04:09] Brett, you are subjecting yourself potentially to the least satisfying 30s and 3.5in of your life. - No, the problem. - Is, for $10 million. It will take forever because it takes him forever to say anything. That's why people think he's smart. He's like, oh yeah. [00:04:26] Maybe we can, a little of both, right? I like our declining birth rates. A problem like me in a generation for Social Security, like. Yeah, but then in the following generation. [00:04:43] No, it's not. And there's more space and there's, you know, China seems to be doing fine with a declining birth rate like they intend. They were having trouble with an increasing birth rate and they took drastic action. My buddy Thanos is for the declining birth rate. [00:05:01] But like it's it's I just want to say like when when we were saying like, they're weird. This is it. This is the weird. - This is the weird thing. - Yeah, yeah. No 100% and weird, but also, like, manipulative and corrupt. And we'll get to that in a sec. [00:05:16] I also just want to point out like he he is like, I've been trying to convince people that he's not a genius. He's not just not a genius, he's a dumb dumb. He's a legit dumb dumb. Like, let's say you think declining birth rates are bad. Well, then I have to have more kids. [00:05:32] That has no relationship with it like that. Like a genius would know that doesn't do literally anything to solve the problem. That's 0.00001% of a societal problem. Like it's so stupid. But even worse, it was revealed in this that he pressured Saint Clair to have [00:05:48] a C-section because, in his words, vaginal birth limits the size of the brain. And I know I want people to think about it for like at least five seconds, which is more than he thought about it. He thinks that because of like the evolutionary pressure of brain size [00:06:06] and birth canal width or whatever meaning long term, that there might be some sort of limit on the ability of the brain to continue to evolve larger. No, he thinks the way it works is on an individual level. If you go through the vagina, your brain will be smaller for the rest of your life. [00:06:23] It's it's dumber, I think, than anything I've ever seen a Louie Gohmert say, a Marjorie Greene say, and he believes it. He actually believes that he's one of the dumbest people in the world, but also corrupt because he apparently saw, Tiffany Wong is a cryptocurrency influencer [00:06:42] on Twitter, and he had the hots for her. So he did what you do. He dammed her. Would you like me to impregnate you? They'd never met. Just DM'd it. Okay. Oh, but it's weird when I do it because I'm not a billionaire or whatever. Get off my back. Anyway, they began interacting. [00:06:59] Okay, he'd like her posts. Okay. And during the height of her interactions with Musk, she earned apparently $21,000 in a two week period in November, which is crazy. Now, it would seem to be because of, like, added engagement because he's engaging with her. [00:07:14] I believe no evidence he juiced the system to get her engagement up so that she'd be excited to be affiliated with him. That is a weird way. To. Prove intercourse is juicing the system. Anyway, so he sent her a direct message asking if she was interested in having his child. [00:07:31] Now, she apparently wasn't interested because, you know, look at him. And, she told Saint Clair that she was worried about how rejecting Musk could affect her earnings on Twitter, which apparently they did, because he then chided her for not being discreet. [00:07:47] As I said on TDR, he wants her to be discreet the way he is. You know, DMing random women. Do you want me to knock you up that level of discretion? So, he unfollowed her. And according to the Wall Street Journal, that contributed to a fall in her engagement and her earnings declined. [00:08:03] Yeah, maybe that's what it is. Or maybe in the same way that the owner of the platform can suddenly give her more money through forced engagement. He can also shadow ban her if he wants to, as punishment for not subjecting herself [00:08:18] to his disgusting advances. Now, again, I can't prove that, but I feel like he is certainly not above that. Any other thoughts. Like that is why most guys do what they do so they can get girls. [00:08:34] Yeah. I hate to break it to you. Like that's it. Like from the. From the peacock spreading its its feathers to impress a mate. So too doth the man learn guitar and the total dork get hair implants and [00:08:49] start a PayPal like that is what that is. That is what it's all about. The social network, basically, this is their premise is that he wanted to get girls and he didn't know how to interact with them, whether that's true or not. Like that resonates with a lot of folks in. [00:09:06] And I'm not the only one to say this. It's it's actually sadder than that. It's less it's less like carnal than that. And it's more like, please, please, please look at me. Please, please, please like me. This is like the sex version. This is the relationship. [00:09:24] This is like, please let me touch you version of it. But like, there's a broader, more meta. Like everything he does is so that people will think he's funny and like him. - It's so like it's. - Not great at it. Just. And people, it makes people like him less. It makes fewer people like him. [00:09:43] Now, the people that like him like him because they they want to be rich like him, not because they want to have his personality. Are you kidding me? My God. But what's funny is, like, this guy has a reputation, like, owns companies that make rockets that land on chopsticks. [00:10:02] - And still he is hated by half the world. - Yeah. He was like, he doesn't realize this, but that was not enough for people to kind of think, oh, he's a smart guy and he has companies and we like him. And everyone was buying his stuff. And now he's got creepy and too much. [00:10:19] You can't outrun who you are, your personality. And he is terrible. He bought companies with impressive people that work at it. And that's not enough if he wanted to, even now. I think if he wanted to commit himself over the next ten years to being [00:10:34] the most beloved person in the world, he has the resources to do it. But he's not going to do it because he's stupid and he's terrible. And so he's only going to be more unpopular a year from now and five years from now than he is right now. And maybe, you know, maybe an alternate reality where, [00:10:54] he'd been born via C-section. His brain would be bigger. That's the way it works. Then he could figure it out. But unfortunately, the vagina doomed him, as it so often does anyway. No. He's just he's terrible. All of this is terrible, by the way. Like, damning. Like, I understand this is the modern world. [00:11:10] I have no problem with damning people. But your first message shouldn't be. You want some sperm. That's not how it's supposed to go. Like, I know you've you you've entered into relationships that began in that way. My now wife, asked me to take her to The Hobbit, for our first date, [00:11:27] and she successfully, in the Ali Wong style, trapped me with that. She knew the way to get to me, and that's fine. But the first thing had nothing to do with seminal fluids. Just to be clear. Every time you ring the bell below, an angel gets his wings. Totally not true. [00:11:43] But it does keep you updated on our live shows.