I had to be molested at the airport, to go to Florida, right. Just to get on an airplane, because I'm not going to go through the the gay beam machine. I didn't let CJ do it. I wouldn't let him do it. Said you're getting patted down too, buddy. I don't want them turning you gay. [00:00:22] - But. - I mean, how would that even work? Yeah, that is evangelical preacher and clearly conspiracy theorist Andrew Isgur telling everybody he's not gay, but he wants to make sure he and his buddies get patted down by [00:00:37] other dudes whenever possible. He's not about to become gay from going through one of those airport scanners that make you gay, that's for sure. Despite how many men he then has to ask to touch his private parts at the airport. You just watched Isgur on his right wing current affairs podcast, which is a logo, [00:00:55] by the way, of him and two other dudes with their arms around each other. It's called contra Mundum, spreading the truly insane conspiracy theory that TSA body scanners and airports can make people queer. Luckily, Iskra determined there's a much less gay option and that is [00:01:10] having a male TSA worker feel you up. Here's more. It. It appears having a guy touch you all over the place is, On its face seems worse, but you don't really know what's going [00:01:25] what what those things are doing to you. So where the imaging goes or what? - Yeah, because it's. - Like I'm doing in the bathroom. Yeah. Like, yeah, they can just take a picture of me naked. - Like, no. - Virtual adrenochrome system back there. Yeah, maybe. Maybe so. [00:01:43] He literally said. Sure. It seems worse to have a man touch your private parts, but you don't know what the machine is doing. So not knowing, but for sure, having basically a homosexual experience forced upon you by not forced because you opted into it quite pleasingly. [00:02:02] And also, they might want to see me naked. I doubt it severely. Of all the candidates. But that's just my thoughts, Jake. Okay, here's the tale, guys. I've never thought. Hey, I wonder what turned me gay. [00:02:18] It never occurred to me. I never thought, hey, I wonder if the gay beams in the TSA scanner is turning me gay because I'm not gay. I never thought, I wonder if it's the microwave turning me gay or the frogs or the water because I'm not gay. [00:02:34] That thought has never crossed my mind. But for some of these brothers, they're constantly thinking, what's causing the gayness? What's. What's turning me gay? What is it? That. What is it? That thing who's turning me gay? You're like. You're kind of telling on yourself and nothing wrong with it. [00:02:51] You open arms here. Okay, but that's hilarious, brother. And then, of course, the conspiracy theory that they're zapping you. They're zapping you with what? What is like what? What? Could you zap someone with rainbow rainbows. [00:03:08] Rainbows. That's an idea. Ben. Good one. Yes. That's true. Could be. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And you know, my question was similar, just in the sense of like, how exactly would this technology work? Like, every time you go through a checkout line or something, it just jumbles your sexual orientation. [00:03:25] Like, like every time. Like you got, like, your sexual orientation, got Tourette's syndrome or something. Like, it just can't help itself. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's kind of silly. Like, you know, I'm so straight. I'd rather a dude cut my nuts than go through a scanner. [00:03:40] You know what I mean? Because that's how. That's how you stay on track. Like, squeeze my ass, man. I got some metal in there. I don't know, man. These people are strange. What was that dude's name? I think he was a senator for Iowa or Idaho or something. [00:03:55] And he got caught in the bathroom in the airport. Yeah. - Larry. - Craig. Foot tap. I mean, think about that. Like you. You can't go to a hotel. You can't even wait to go back home. It's like you're so freaky. I need some strange in an airport bathroom. [00:04:12] Oh, no. - No, no. - Jackson. Bad. No, no. You just. Accidentally figured it out. Larry Craig was a Republican senator from Idaho. They used a lot of rumors about how he'd be soliciting men in bathrooms. Right. And and then he got caught in a Minnesota airport bathroom, I believe. [00:04:31] Yeah, he was at an airport. Went through the scanner. - Otherwise known as the gay beam. - Exactly. Okay. Exactly. Exactly. See, I uncover the mystery without even thinking about it. - Exactly. - So you're ignoring. You're ignoring the very obvious fact here, too. [00:04:48] Because this isn't even a conspiracy theory I'd ever heard before. It sounds like one. He might have come up with himself. And you have to, from the story, have to infer he hasn't always opted out for the pat downs. He's gone through the machine a couple of times, so he went [00:05:03] through the machine at one point. Yeah. And then saw other dudes being felt up who didn't go through the machine. And right as he was going through the machine and seeing that he got funny feelings and funny thoughts and he thought, oh, clearly it's the machine making me feel that way and not [00:05:21] the homoerotic thing I'm witnessing. Next time I'm going to have to be part of that feel up situation, because this machine is a real queer maker. I think we figured out, in fact, what did it? It was him seeing some stuff go down and being oddly pleased by it. [00:05:39] You also won't be shocked to learn this guy is aggressively homophobic and not afraid to say it, as they always are when they doth protest too much. In my guess, earlier this month, he was on Tucker Carlson's show. Here's just a little taste of how that show went. [00:05:55] The former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, J.D. Greer, famously said in a sermon, well, the Bible just whispers about sexual sin, but it shouts about about like, financial sin or greed, right? [00:06:10] So they want to downplay. - Doubts about both of them. - It does. And the two are connected, right? Yeah. Right. If you're if you're, you know, greedy for money, you're also going to be lusting after the flesh like that. The two go hand in hand. And and so but it's to downplay things that the culture does not want to hear. [00:06:29] Right. Because you'll be branded as a bigot, as intolerant as a bad person. If you're just like, well, this is what the Bible says. Like this. You know, fornicators, adulterers, sodomites, they they will not inherit the kingdom of God. You don't have to believe it. But if you're a believing Christian, it it's not whispered at all. [00:06:45] Yeah. You shouted? Yeah. You do have to believe it if you're a Christian. Like if you claim that you. That this is the Bible, that God spoke this. - Yeah. - So there is that. In my opinion, the man has far too thick and aggressive of a 70s porn mustache [00:07:03] to be talking about this topic at all, but that's just my uneducated guess. It always is. However, the people who claim that the Bible is saying that you can't be gay, and then he just slips in and conflates, which Tucker Carlson immediately agrees to. [00:07:20] He goes, plus, if you're a greedy person about money, you also are going to want the flesh. But overly being addicted to sex is totally different than being gay. Nobody says that gay people are inherently having more sex [00:07:39] than straight people or married people. There's married gay people. There's people of all persuasions within all, sexual preferences and persuasions. And so that was a little strange as well. Also, he claimed he had fled to Tennessee because his home state of Minnesota [00:07:55] had declared war on Christians. And later in the interview, he and Tucker went on and on about how without a religion like Christianity, sure, you don't have to believe, but then what's to stop you from murdering people? He goes, oh, you have no basis for it. Then there's nothing to ground you to that belief. [00:08:11] Some might think murder is good, as though morality can only be based on fictional characters in the sky. Yeah. So there's a lot of interesting things in there. He's like, oh, they call you a bigot. But you know, if you read the Bible, it says that gay people can't get into [00:08:26] heaven in the kingdom of God, and gay people are this and gay people are that. No, brother, you're just saying I became a bigot because of my interpretation of the Bible. You're not saying you're not a bigot like so. In fact, you're admitting you're a bigot. You're like, gay people are bad. [00:08:42] You shouldn't be gay. You being gay is so bad. You'll go to hell and be tortured forever instead of going to heaven. But I don't have anything against gay people. No, you literally do. You just said it. You just said it. Right. So. And that's just his interpretation of the Bible. [00:08:57] Now, up to a couple of Ben's points, he says, well, you know, you lust for greed for money and homosexuality. Of course, both of those things are similar. Are they? Because I've wanted more money in my life. You know, I'm human, but I haven't lusted for homosexuality. [00:09:17] That guy. Just everything he says. Well, obviously, I mean, lust for homosexuality. Obviously, everything's turning you gay. Is it obvious? Is it obvious to all of us? Money is gay, Jake wanting money? Yes, exactly. Wanting money is gay. [00:09:32] Yeah, but check out Elon Musk and all that. They'll be all upset to get you to get the gayest in the white House. But yeah. No, it's just like, it seems just like a somewhat low key addict obsession. Like maybe he is a sex addict. [00:09:48] You know, sex addiction could be like porn and all types of stuff like that. But he kind of comes across like he has some type, like he wakes up and he just can't stop looking at it. And obviously, you know, just do your thing. If you're gay, be gay. It's not a big deal. But, he does seem to have a really weird obsession with it. [00:10:06] And the Bible says a lot of stuff. The Bible is a lot of books. It's not just one book in the Old Testament has stuff about not having your ears pierced and not having tattoos, and how to cook your meat and all types of stuff like that, that all of us break on a daily basis, which is one of the biggest ironies [00:10:23] of people who are super fundamentalist about stuff like that. Like your hairstyle could be against the Bible that you that you're wearing today. You could have too many curls in your head or something. You know, these these people are just bigots. And don't eat shrimp. Make sure you don't eat shrimp. Yeah. Don't eat. Don't do that. [00:10:39] - No shellfish. - Yeah. Seafood. Always looking at you like this. Like. - Yeah. - No, no. Exactly where I was going to go with it. Everybody who watches Young Turks for a long time knows I'm about to say, you know, the the real. You know, sinners are at Red lobster. [00:10:55] - So they're all going to hell. - Exactly. Have you ever been to Red lobster? It's, by the way, in Leviticus, don't eat shellfish. That's an abomination. Is right next to. Do not lie with another man like they're right on top of each other, if you will. Okay. So equal. Perfectly equal. [00:11:11] So if you're pretending that God hates gay people, then God's hate hates anyone who's ever eaten shellfish. Literally just as much. Okay, so make up your mind on what you're cherry picking out of the Bible. Last thing is, I think Ben actually figured it out. [00:11:27] So he said, you know, like, it had to be the machine, and it. And I think that's what they think, guys. They think they feel guilty about, you know, the feelings that they have and they desperately want to think it couldn't be me. It couldn't be me. [00:11:42] It had to be the gay beam machine that turned me gay. You see what I'm saying? Because they've been taught that it's bad when it's not actually bad. - Natural. - Yeah. Yeah. So they don't want that responsibility. They're trying to throw that responsibility off of them. They're like TSA scanners. That's got to be it. [00:12:01] That's what gave me the gayness. No, brother. I mean, if you're another way to look at it is no, your creator did. So go chew on that. Can't do anything without pissing God off, man. Every time you ring the bell below, an angel gets his wings. [00:12:18] Totally not true. But it does keep you updated on our live shows.