Senator Ted Cruz has announced that he's planning to run for president. No, not in 2024. He has announced that he plans to run for president in 2028. So this confirms what we've always known about this sniveling Texas congressman. He's a glutton for both punishment and humiliation. [00:00:18] And look, if he likes it, I'm here to watch it. Now to answer this question about like, why? Why we say this, why we think that he's going to embarrass himself. Let's take a brief journey back to 2016, okay? [00:00:33] That was the last time Cruz tried running for president, and it did not bode well for him. Let's watch. Matter of principle and biggest liar. You probably are worse than Jeb Bush. In the case of Lyin Ted Cruz. Lyin Ted lies. [00:00:49] - Oh. He lies. - Trump retweeted a different meme today. This is what that looks like. Quote. No need to spill the beans. Spill the beans is in quotes. The images are worth a thousand words, and it has [00:01:05] a very attractive picture of Melania. And some would argue, not so much for Heidi Cruz, Ted Cruz's wife. I never expect to hear that from you again, she said. He's a that's terrible. Her. His father? I don't know his father. I met him once. [00:01:20] I think he's a lovely guy. I think he's a lovely guy. All I did is point out the fact that on the cover of the National Enquirer, there was a picture of him and crazy Lee Harvey Oswald having breakfast. [00:01:37] Trump accused Ted Cruz's father of being the Zodiac Killer. Okay, but, guys, we all know what happened next. Let's watch. Hi, this is Ted Cruz calling. I was calling to encourage you to come out and vote on Election Day. [00:01:53] I just wanted to encourage you to come out and vote. Thank you and God bless you. Classic. Okay, so Trump called his wife ugly. Trump also accused his father of being the Zodiac killer. [00:02:08] And I mean, they were beefing hard during the Republican primary. And then Ted Cruz ends up phone banking for him, which was. I mean, I don't use this word lightly. It was the greatest catastrophe of all time was. [00:02:23] And he wants it again. He wants to run in 2028. I do have to make a correction. And the internet said that Ted Cruz bared a striking resemblance to the Zodiac Killer. Trump was accusing Ted Cruz's dad of being in cahoots [00:02:39] with the assassination of John F Kennedy. Oh, apologies. Apologies. Thank you for clarifying that. Really important. No, it is. It's really. Important. Yes. It's awesome. So, yes. Mr., daddy Cruz was on the grassy knoll. [00:02:55] Ted Cruz, was the main character of one of my favorite David Fincher movies. Yeah. Ted, Ted Cruz is the definition of an embarrassment. It's it's quite disgusting. [00:03:12] We say it all the time, and it's true. He is easily the most hated man in the Senate. Even his Republican colleagues hate him for the way that he used them, their backs to step over them in order to create fake controversies, to bring attention [00:03:30] to himself, to make him seem like some right wing warrior at their expense for stuff that he knew was never going to fly. They were never going to repeal Obamacare. They were never going to impeach Obama. They were never going to put the government, you know, completely shut down the government. [00:03:46] They were never going to default on the country's debt. But he ginned up a lot of ridiculous enthusiasms for things that were never going to come at the expense of his colleagues, his own Republican homies. He made them look like rhinos. Or he attempted to in order to burnish his own reputation. [00:04:04] So he's a selfish prick, which everybody knows. And then, as you mentioned, he's a weasel, spineless coward. It's not even that, he said, you know what I lost to Donald Trump? Whatever. He's the Republican nominee. Sure, do the Republican thing. [00:04:20] This man loaned his own time and phone bank for him. It's it's ridiculous. It's like a guy kicking me in the nuts and then me saying, hey, could I shine your shoes, sir, before the next one? It's just ridiculous that he would do that. [00:04:36] It was. No, I mean, just an embarrassment of epic proportions. But according to Ted Cruz, he had a ball running for president in 2016. He tells the Texas Tribune, quote, I loved running for president in 2016. [00:04:53] We came incredibly close. We came within inches of winning. It's the most fun I've ever had in my life, and I fully hope and expect to run again at some point. And so, I mean, you could run now if you loved it so much and it was so much fun. [00:05:09] But I would venture to say it wasn't so much fun running against Donald Trump. Right? Getting humiliated by him again and again and again. Cruz said he ultimately did not run for president this cycle because the timing didn't feel right, and he thought he could be more effective fighting policies [00:05:29] driven by Democrats in the Senate. Except he's not doing that. What is Ted Cruz up to his podcast? - He's a he's a podcaster. - He's a podcaster now. He's he's airing four episodes of his podcast per week. [00:05:45] Wow. Obama didn't even have that much time with Springsteen in retirement. It's crazy. I don't know. I think Ted Cruz has a very high opinion of himself. Sure does. He likes to hear himself talk. [00:06:00] I would imagine he likes to see himself on TV. He loved the attention that came with running for president, and it's kind of easy to forget if we can give Ted Cruz any credit whatsoever. He was the last man standing in the Republican primary against Donald Trump. [00:06:16] So he does have that going for him, right? He was the runner up in the last Republican primary that was ever had. That being said, the idea that Ted Cruz has any constituency in the wider America that that like the most leaks, you're the most least likable guy in the [00:06:35] goddamn US Senate, and you think Americans are going to turn around and like you, also not very attractive. And I'm not. Gonna to counts for something that counts for something in for the for the for the for the presidency. [00:06:52] Donald Trump may not be attracted, but he's just, you know, he's a celebrity. Yeah. He was invented during the monoculture. We don't make those kind of celebrities anymore. Ted Cruz ain't that. He's just a run of the mill politician. And so come on now. No, he better hit that treadmill, that StairMaster, you know, because he's [00:07:08] packed a few since since 2016. We've seen it. Come on now. Dum dum lunches on Capitol Hill, man. Dum dum lobbyists. Lunches. Must be whom he's. He's getting the surf and the turf. - Extra butter. - Oh my God. [00:07:26] Okay. I have to read a comment from a member of our Twitch community Fiddling Nero, who says I'd sooner elect a feral pig than Ted Cruz. Okay. All right. But I have to I absolutely have to end on the very last video that we have here. [00:07:44] Okay. Because, look, we're making fun of him. We're dunking on him. I get it. A lot of this isn't really based on substance, though. It's important to understand what kind of lawmaker, what kind of senator, what kind of representative of the state of Texas Ted Cruz really happens to be, [00:08:02] because when the state and its people were really suffering and struggling from a power outage during a severe winter storm, this was a deadly winter storm. Ted Cruz showed what his leadership looks like. [00:08:19] He got caught trying to flee to a nice tropical vacation in Mexico. Okay, beach vacation, I should say. So let's let's get a little bit of a refresher on that. With Texas reeling and millions of his constituents without power or water. [00:08:36] Texas Senator Ted Cruz jetted off to sunny Cancun with his family cameras catching him at the airport. Those pictures, making headlines in his storm ravaged state. Senator Ted Cruz made time for a family vacation in the middle of our state's historic winter storm. [00:08:52] Just Monday, Cruz warned his fellow Texans a dangerous storm was coming, even urging them to stay home. We could see up to 100 people lose their lives this week in Texas, so don't risk it. Keep keep your family safe and just stay home and hug your kids. [00:09:08] - Of course. - The senator didn't stay home himself. Two days later, he was off to Mexico. The Houston Police Department, which was grappling with the natural disaster, says a member of the Cruz team, called in, quote, requested assistance for the senator at the airport. [00:09:24] And then when the press was like, this is not a good look. Why did you do this? He tried to throw his own children under the bus and claim that he was pressured by his kids, like any excuse anyone, to throw under the bus to make himself look good. [00:09:40] But the thing is, he fails every time. And, I mean, it just shows you what his priorities are, was he doesn't give a damn about anyone except Ted Cruz. I think the same can be said of Donald Trump, but at least Donald Trump entertains us. [00:09:56] Like at least he's funny. And at least he successfully unmans all of these so called strong men Republican politicians who, when push comes to shove, are so weak, are such sniveling, conniving losers that I got to at least give Trump credit for revealing who they [00:10:16] really are to the American people. - Any final words on this? - Yeah, I'm literally just. Trying to imagine Ted Cruz's kids being like, come on, dad, Senor frogs won't be the same without you. Come on, you gotta come to Cancun. [00:10:32] It's like, give me a freaking break. Ted Cruz, he wanted to go to the beach, have a couple of mai tais, you know, watch the destruction from his iPad like the rest of us normal Americans get to do. You know, people who aren't one of the 100 members [00:10:48] of the freaking goddamn US Senate. That's what he wanted to do. It's just, again, just the idea that he'd be like, no, it was the kids. It was the kids that really needed me in Cancun for moral support. Because, you know, my wife, she couldn't possibly down six mojitos in two hours [00:11:08] without me, so I just had to be there. Thanks for watching. If you become a member, you get to watch all this ad free. Except for, of course, this ad still. Hit the join button below.